What Is a Letter of Instruction?
Your will is a legal document. It takes months to go through probate. And it says almost nothing about what your family should actually do on Day 1.
A letter of instruction is the other document — the one almost nobody writes. No lawyers, no notary needed. Just plain language: here's the funeral home I prefer, here's who to call, here's where the insurance policies are, here's what I want done with my Facebook account. It's the stuff your family desperately needs in the first 72 hours, before the will is anywhere near readable.
Will vs. Letter of Instruction — The Quick Version
A Will...
- → Is a legal document requiring witnesses
- → Goes through probate (can take a year+)
- → Becomes public record
- → Handles asset distribution
- → Names guardians for minor children
A Letter of Instruction...
- ✓ Just a document — write it yourself
- ✓ Available immediately after death
- ✓ Completely private
- ✓ Covers day-to-day practical stuff
- ✓ Tells people what to do first
What Goes In It
Think of it as five conversations you never had but should have:
1. The First 48 Hours
Funeral home name and phone number. Burial or cremation — don't make your family guess. The five people to call personally before anything goes online. Where your will and other important documents are physically located.
2. Your Financial Picture
Names of every bank and financial institution — not account numbers, just names. Your accountant's name and contact. Your attorney's name and contact. Any automatic payments your family should know about right away (mortgage, utilities).
3. Insurance
Life insurance carrier name and policy number. Your agent's phone number. Where the physical policy documents live. This section alone prevents billions in unclaimed life insurance every year.
4. The Digital World
Your primary email address — it's the master key to everything else, since it's used to reset other passwords. Your phone PIN (critical for 2FA). What to do with your social media accounts. Any cloud storage your family shouldn't accidentally let lapse.
5. The Personal Stuff
Your funeral wishes. Sentimental items and who you'd want to have them. Letters you've written and where they're stored. Instructions for pets. The things nobody asks about but everyone wonders.
Where to Keep It
The letter is useless if nobody can find it. Options:
One more thing: update it.
A letter of instruction from five years ago is better than nothing. But a lot changes in five years — banks, insurance carriers, phone numbers, wishes. Review it once a year. Set a calendar reminder. The update takes twenty minutes.
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